Should I Put My Child on a Diet?

Every parent wants their child to grow up to be confident and capable and health can play a major role in that. Parents have an important responsibility to model and teach their children to live healthy lifestyles. There are so many conflicting messages these days that can cause a lot of worry for parents regarding their child’s health. While parents have the best of intentions, sometimes the worries about their child’s health can do more harm than good, including putting their child on a diet.

What the research shows

Studies show that children as young as 6 years old have reported feeling concerned about their shape or gaining weight (1). One study showed that 45% of children in grades 3-6 wanted to be thinner and 37% had already tried to lose weight (2). This information is very concerning because dieting can lead to eating disorders, nutrient deficiencies, poor bone health, stunted growth, poor mental health, delayed puberty, and more.

There are a variety of reasons that kids may start dieting. As children age, they see more messages about food and bodies at school, in the media, and in their social circles. One study found that 47% of American elementary school girls say that pictures in the media impact their thoughts on the ideal body shape and make them want to lose weight (3). Some children begin dieting as a result of unhappiness with their bodies or worrying about the changes that occur in their bodies during puberty. Others start dieting due to pressure from their parents or comments from friends or adults about food or bodies.

Parents have the responsibility to model healthy behaviors. Their words and actions can have a lifelong impact on the lives of their children. Parents who participated in diet behaviors, including weight control, encouraging children to diet, talking about their weight, or weight teasing, put their children at higher risk of weight gain, depression, and lower self-worth, and participating in those same diet behaviors. Those risks also continued into adulthood and could be passed down to future generations (4,5).

Parents have good intentions with their children when they encourage dieting practices or make comments about their weight. Many parents cite reasons such as concerns about their child’s health, fears about their child being teased, cultural or societal norms, or reactions to a doctor visit (6). But no matter the reason, dieting is not appropriate for children and teens and can lead to serious adverse outcomes. Putting children on diets is not recommended unless it is medically necessary to treat food allergies or other severe medical conditions. 

What can we do other than putting our child on a diet?

So what can we do to raise confident and healthy kids? What should you do if you’re concerned about your child’s weight changes or eating habits? Here are a few ideas:

Know that it is perfectly normal for bodies to change

Bodies aren’t meant to stay the same. This is normal and good and it happens to every human in different ways throughout their life. It may be surprising when your child starts to gain weight or their appetite suddenly increases. Try to avoid expressing concerns to your child about their changing body. Instead, assure them that this is what bodies do and that it is perfectly normal. If you do have concerns, discuss them privately with a trusted healthcare professional to see if it needs to be addressed.

Avoid body talk

Avoid comments about the appearance of your body, your child’s body, or the bodies of others. When you say negative or positive things about bodies, your kids learn that you believe that some bodies are better than others and may start to wonder if their body needs to be changed. Even positive compliments about body appearance can lead to negative thoughts about one’s body. Praising a child for being thin or small can cause them to feel pressure to remain that way or to feel shame as they grow into a larger body.

Body diversity exists. Some people are naturally small and some people are naturally large. This is normal! Normalizing body diversity in the home can help make this transition easier for kids if they start to feel uncomfortable in their changing bodies. Children will be exposed to a lot of messaging about their bodies in the world. You can set your child up for success and counteract some of those messages by taking a neutral stance about body size and normalizing body diversity.

Use the Satter Division of Responsibility framework

The Satter Division of Responsibility is a framework that outlines the responsibilities of parents and their children during mealtimes. It says that parents are responsible for what foods are offered, when food is offered, and where the child is fed. Children are responsible for whether or not to eat what is offered and how much they choose to eat of each food.

Using this framework, parents should serve enjoyable meals and snacks consistently throughout the day and model good behavior during mealtime. Parents may find relief as they set some boundaries around meals and then relinquish control over managing how much food their child consumes at each meal or snack. Children’s needs and appetites will change from day to day and year to year. By learning to listen to their bodies, children can learn to regulate their intake and feed themselves appropriately.

When parents try to control how much their child eats, it can lead to the child under-eating or overeating and becoming less in tune with their body’s unique needs. This simple approach to feeding can lead to happier and more pleasant mealtimes for the whole family. Parents and children don’t need to fight over cleaning their plates or finishing their veggies. Instead, parents can trust that the majority of children can eat what is right for their bodies when given the opportunity to practice without judgment.

Set the example

Children benefit from seeing adults model healthy behaviors. Parents can serve balanced meals complete with sources of carbohydrates, protein, fat, and fiber. In addition, using some gentle nutrition principles to guide eating decisions without rigid restrictions or rules is helpful. When a parent is on a restrictive diet, then their kids are more likely to engage in unhealthy dieting practices. Parents should model what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with food. If you don’t have a healthy relationship with food or your body, seek counseling from a dietitian so you can improve this and teach your children.

References:

1. Smolak L, Cash T. Body image development in childhood. Body Image: A Handbook of Science, Practice, and Prevention (2nd ed.).New York: Guilford. 2011.
2. Maloney MJ, McGuire J, Daniels SR, Specker B. Dieting behavior and eating attitudes in children. Pediatrics. 1989;84:482–489.
3. Martin, J. B. (2010). The Development of Ideal Body Image Perceptions in the United States. Nutrition Today. 2010;45(3),98-100. 
4. Berge JM, Winkler MR, Larson N, Miller J, Haynos AF, Neumark-Sztainer D. Intergenerational Transmission of Parent Encouragement to Diet From Adolescence Into Adulthood. Pediatrics. April 2018; 141 (4).
5. Bauer K, Bucchianeri M, Neumark-Sztainer D. Mother-reported parental weight talk and adolescent girls’ emotional health, weight control attempts, and disordered eating behaviors. Journal of Eating Disorders. 2013;1(1):45.
6. Berge JM, Trofholz A, Fong S, Blue L, Neumark-Sztainer D. A qualitative analysis of parents’ perceptions of weight talk and weight teasing in the home environments of diverse low-income children. Body Image. 2015 Sep;15:8-15.