Dear Parents: Don’t tell your child they’re overweight

Created by: Hali Obray, Dietetic Intern

If you have been told that your child is overweight or obese, don’t panic. Though these terms are generally used to mean that a child is too fat, they actually mean that a child is too big.

The body mass index (BMI) is used to classify individuals into weight categories based on weight and height, but is unable to distinguish between bigness and fatness. As long as your child is consistently following his or her growth curve, even if it’s at the extreme upper end of the growth chart, they are not too big. From the perspective of feeding dynamics, a child’s weight only becomes a concern if it accelerates rapidly or falters below their normal curve. Genes can play a large role in a child’s body shape and size. Some children are small, some children are large, and that’s who they are.

Beware of calling your child overweight

If you have a child who is big or fat, don’t call your child overweight or obese and don’t let others do it either. This includes your child’s physician. If they have concerns about your child’s weight, ask them to refrain from discussing those concerns with your child present. When a child is told or gets the idea that they are overweight and flawed, they feel bad about more than their weight and often think that they are not smart, physically capable, or worthy.

Studies have shown that when parents believe their child is fat, the child gains more weight – not less. When parents try to slim down their child, often by restricting food in some way, the child picks up on it. Food restriction causes people to be afraid to go without food, continually ask or beg for food, and be inclined to eat more than even they want to when they can get it –especially a restricted food. Pushing additional physical activity with the purpose of slimming a child down can also backfire and result in the child disliking the activity and gaining more weight than they would have otherwise.

How can you help as a parent?

Image: ellynsatterinstitute.org

As a parent, you may be asking yourself what you can do. Give yourself and your child a break. You won’t know how your child’s body will turn out until her late teenage years or his early twenties. If you remember your role (what foods will be served and when meals occur), let your child maintain theirs (which foods and how much they eat), and provide opportunities for physical activities that your child enjoys, your child’s growth may surprise you.

And, as always, if you have any questions about your diet or your child’s nutrition schedule an appointment with one of our registered dietitians.

Content adapted from ellynsatterinstitute.org